Home, and Good-bye

Now, after two months in Turkey, I am back home in the United States. I'm listening to Turkish music now, and missing it all: the heat, the food, the constant feeling of being slightly lost and confused... Here no one speaks Turkish (of course), the neighbors are never by, everyone wastes water. But it is so easy to return to my old patterns and thoughts and chores, to let the past two months just fade away into distant memory...

I wonder what it would be like to move to a new country permanently, knowing that you had no home to go back to. I moved to the United States with my parents when I was five. For me it was easy, as it is for all kids. I am an American now, with fluent English and a U.S. education. But for my parents...

Some things you get used to quickly in Turkey: not making eye contact with men on the street (it's taken as a come-on), how to order Turkish coffee, where to stand on a metro train to avoid the jostling (near the end of the car), how to use the Turkish keyboard.

Some things take longer: understanding conversations and the news, not smiling too much in public (such a difficult thing for me! :)), kisses on cheeks, the Turkish bureaucracy, sometimes intrusive questioning (many things we consider off limits, such as salaries, weight and marital status, are never taboo in Turkey). Even after two months, I still felt there was a veil between me and the rest of the world -- I couldn't quite catch all the words, all the nuances, all the gestures.

And some things you might never get used to. You have to keep working at it, but it might never feel comfortable. There is the culture: the insane driving, the machoism of men, the love of Atatürk. And the language: the Turkish lifting of eyebrows at the end of a question, the intonation of a request, the slang.

My dad still has a strong accent in English, even after 15+ years. Most of my parents' friends are Russian. And I can understand why. Sometimes you just get too tired of constantly speaking a foreign tongue, of straining for greater understanding...

What if I had to move to Turkey permanently? How would I make that choice? I wonder how long would it take to learn the language with the facility of a writer (even a mediocre one), how long would it take to feel at home there... As much as I miss the country, I am glad I don't have to make that decision now.

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My Turkish summer is now over. Thank you for everyone who read these posts, who thought about them, who posted comments. I loved having you along on my trip!!

But please don't leave yet! One of my friends from the program, Alice D., will be staying in Ankara at least until December (and possibly longer), studying abroad at Middle East Technical University. She has graciously agreed to continue the blog with her own adventures and reflections. I may still post a few more thoughts and articles occassionally, but from now on "Turkish Kahve" will be largely hers. If you are still curious about Turkey, and if you enjoyed reading this, I hope you continue to 'tune in.' :)

But for now, I wish you all a big "güle güle"!!